Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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