We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize
