I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
