I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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