Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
