bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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