Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The best revenge is premature balding
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
