I wish my penis had an off switch
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
