i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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