Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
