When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
