i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
