So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
