I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
