5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
