I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
