I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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