margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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