Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
