Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
