our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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