ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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