Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
