Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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