You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
