i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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