We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
