He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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