K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
