Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
