I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Did I show you my penis last night?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
