The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
