They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Randomize
