umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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