You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
