I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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