He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
