some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I should be sponsored by Trojan
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
