When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize