Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I deserve this hangover.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize