if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
