drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
