This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
