these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
