Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
smell my finger.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
