Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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