FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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