made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
