Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So vagazzling was a success
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
