she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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