If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
