I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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