Apparently you make a good broom.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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