I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
When are your genitals available?
I am available for nakedness
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
