I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
