My room smells like vodka and shame
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
