So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
No...this little piggys going to the bar
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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