everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
