it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
