So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
