He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
