if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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