Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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