I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
