...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize