dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
